I'm just posting a note to say that I have a good excuse for not updating for ages.
Since the last time I updated, my life has descended into a comedy of errors. Or it would have been a comedy if I wasn't happening to me.
The brief story is: first I went on a bender, had to have my stomach pumped, and spent almost two weeks in hospital.
Then my computer crapped out. Clearly, it's been fixed - but it was in a pretty bad way, I'm not sure if it'll last much longer.
Also I've been having those headaches again, most of the time I'm drugged to the eyeballs with pills and tablets and all manner of pain relief. None of them have made much of a difference. With the drugs come more of my hallucinations. I haven't seen Charlie in a while, but I've seen other things. Shadows flitting across walls, and gaping cracks in the floor - wherever I am. I've seen these black shapes loping around the apartment building, they'd bother me if I wasn't used to stuff like this. Sometimes, late at night, I'll imagine knocking on my window, long tendrils like branches snaking their way in. There was a face without a face at outside the window last night. I walked into my room, getting ready for sleep, and there it was. Just there. Right outside the window.
Gave me a start, I have to admit, then I remembered who I am.
Sometimes "my condition" can get a little tiring.
I ignored the faceless face and went to bed. Whatever, or whoever he/she/it is, it's a new character. I definitely prefer Fat Charlie.
Huh. A quick note turned into an essay.
My landlord is still gone, by the way.
Asshole.

Strange day today.
I woke up with a almighty pain in my head - so bad I could barely see. It felt like great cannon balls were being fired against my brain, trying to break down my mental walls. I took as many pills as I could without killing myself, but that just brought it down to a wheedling sensation, like a dentist's drill.
I figured I'd try to relive myself of some stress and go pay my rent, so I stamped my way down to my landlord's apartment, my cash in hand, only to get no answer when I tried knocking on his door.
Asshole.
Pesters me for the whole week, then he's nowhere around when I've got my - sorry - "his" money,
What an asshat.
Remembered it was Easter, and that I had nothing nice to eat. Fun.
Seriously considered getting a job. Then laughed about it all.
Weird day, I felt really light headed for most of it.
Eventually, I went back to Mr Asshole's room, to try and pay him the damned rent money. Still no answer, but I took a good look at his door - which had been really fucked up.
It looks like some kids have gone at it with a knife or something - most of the paint's come off, and there are big chunks of bare wood hanging off it. That, and the little bleeders have cut a bunch if weird shapes into it, like math problems or something. Circles and shit, and what you call 'em? "Bisecting lines"?
I dunno.
Strange, strange day today.


Say the guy who talks to an overweight angel.

Poisoning pigeons in the park!

Well, not really.
After the *ahem* events of yesterday - ie: I got very drunk and posted an ill advised misery message on here (I should really try and delete that, sorry you guys had to see it)  - we, as in Fat Charlie and I, decided to go to the park.
Which was, quite nice. And pretty funny too. See Charlie has this thing about pigeons, as in, he HAS to chase 'em. I don't even know, he's like a dog sometimes!
Anyway...
I needed that, it was good to get out in the sun, it's been a rough couple of days, and nights. I've been having headaches recently, bad ones - like a gnawing sensation in my brain.
Gaah.
But yeah, the park was nice, though on the way home it was sort of strange. Something was "off", if you know what I mean. No, course you don't.
It was the trees. They just sort of... I have no idea, damn. It was the branches - just for a second, they sort of stretched out, darkened, looked...sharper.
I don't know. I never really know. I've seen some very weird shit - mostly conjured up by my own imagination.

Anyway.
It WAS nice, at the park. Really.
 - "Millais".

Yeah. Im drunk.s os fucking sue me.



im missingf keys alll over th e place.............i htink...........
jesuschrist marley i misss you,,i miss oyu so much..im   plaiying our sonfg,quietly ,like we used to.

"They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast."

hadd to real ly concentrate rto write thst one out.. idied when you i died.
i mies you so much.i just want tyou to know that.maybe you''ll readit here tonoight......................................

Fat Charlie.

So here's the script I've been threatening, just me and Charlie having a chat. Either a work of bad fiction, the ramblings of a mad man, or proof of my condition. Make of it what you will.

To set the scene, I'm sitting in the kitchenette of my apartment, enjoying a bowl of cereal. Charlie drifts in - as he often does - passing through the wall that looks onto the street outside.

>Everett: Morning Charlie, sleep well?

>Charlie: You ask me that every morning. I'm gettin' worried about you.

>E: Why?

>C: 'Cause you know full well I don't sleep. If I didn't know better I'd say you were startin' to think I'm real.

>E: Of course I don't. I know this is all in my head.

>C: Good. What-cha eatin' loser?

(At this point, he walked over to the table and inspected my cereal. Upon sniffing it, he wrinkled his nose and floated away to my threadbare couch, where he sat, perched precariously on the back.)

>C: Digustin'. When you gonna get yerslef a job, so we can have something good to eat.

>E: We? You don't eat Charlie.

>C: True, technically. But seein' as how I'm a figment of your over-active imagination, what keeps you alive keeps me goin'. Symbiosis, see?

>E: "Symbiosis"? I'm not sure I like that word. Reminds me of that creepy alien gunk in those old Spider-man comics I read as a kid.

>C: You sure loved 'em, eh?


(We laugh a bit at this, both fondly remembering my childhood.)


>C: C'mon buddy, when are you gonna get yerself sorted out?

>E: Don't know what you mean Charlie.

>C: Oh yes you do. Stop moping around the house talkin' ta your imaginary friends. Stop writin' rubbish on that new blog thing. Get outta the house and find yerself a nice gal.

>E: No.

>C: Self-pity ain't gonna get you no where. S'been four years 'Rett. Four. Years.

>E: It'll be the anniversary soon.

>C: Aw jeez, c'mon bud. What happened ta you, you used to be so happy, so fulla joy - you loved it! You loved bein' a priest.

>E: You know what happened, the whole of Paverstown knows. Didn't stop Dad giving me an ear full.

>C: Ya shouldn't have stolen that dough. You shouldda stayed. You hate it here.

>E: Shut up Charlie.

>C: Fine. OK. I'm shuttin' up now.

(Charlie spreads his wings, as he often does went he's in a mood. He started plucking loose feathers.)

(I got, and walked around the couch, slumped down, and flicked on the T.V.)

>C: Static huh?

>E: No shit Sherlock.

>C: Aw jeez, not that guy, I remember the last time. When you lost Marley's keys, an' ya hadda find 'em...

(Charlie chuckles unconvincingly.)
(The T.V's image was leaping about, and pure fuzzy static was coming out of the speakers. I gave it a few slaps, but nothing useful happened.)

>E: Third time this week. This is ridiculous. I'm going out.

>C: Mmmk. Have fun sweetie.

(I flipped Charlie the finger, and slammed the door on my way out.)

There, little snipped of me and Charlie's love/hate relationship. Excuse me while I go stick my head in the freezer, it's going to be a tough few days.

Mea Culpa.

Oh look at that, I've abandoned you (all, what, one of you?).
Sooooo sorry, adoring public - I really should have updated more, but it's been an old week.
Excuses time!
So first, I discovered online tetris. Seriously addictive, I can tell you. I was playing non-stop since my last post (and yet - says Charlie - you are shit at it.)
Then I found this great new band, they're called "Mumford and Sons" - they've got this great kind of grand rolling Celtic country-rock thing going on, some really excellent guitar work. So I just had to rush out and buy the album. Totally worth it.
Or, it would have been, if I still had it.
See, there's another reason I haven't been on in a while. I got mugged.
(Dramatic pause. Short sentences are really good for those.)
I was coming out of my local record store (Charlie: record store? It's not the 60s.) and I though; why not take a short cut?
Oh yeah, great idea.
There were three of 'em, I think, and they must've been sniffing glue or some shit like that, because, I saw one of them, and he was completely out of it - like he had fog behind his eyes. To tell the truth it was more creepy than frightening (if that makes sense). So anyway, these junkies jumped me, kicked me a bit, and stamped on my CD.
I came out ok, mostly - just a few bruises and a burst lip that makes eating salty snacks a trial of Herculean effort. I haven't been to see a doctor, partly because I wouldn't be able to afford  it, partly because I fine.
Really.
So anyway, I'm okay. Don't worry, I didn't die after my previous post. Charlie assures me I'm still alive. That reminds me, I promised you guys a transcript, didn't I?
Ok, I'll see about doing that.
'Till next time!
-"Millais".

 Wednesday, yes, it's Wednesday already.

Last post was Sunday, wasn't it? Forgive me, the old memory's been a bit fuzzy of late. Anyway, no big developments recently, the life of Barnes continues. I saw my friend Chuck the other day - we met for lunch (which he paid for, phew!) and of course he gave me the "Everett, you've got to get a job speech" (easy for Mister steady accountant to say).
Though a job would be beneficial, especially if I want to carry on this blog.
*Heavy sigh.*
Chuck is one of my only friends - yes, I know that sounds pitiful and dramatic, but it's true. Ever since I upped sticks, left my home and flock and moved to the city, I've been bit of a recluse.
Left my flock. There, I've said it. I knew it would come out sooner or later. (Charlie is shaking his head at me right now - "Attention seeker," he's saying. Internet, meet Charlie. Charlie says hi.)
Tell it to me straight, do I look mad now?
Ok, to clear something up - until four years ago, I was a priest. Following in my evangelistic father's footsteps,  preaching at our local church and generally doing my best to spread the good word in as affable a manner as possible.
I was really very happy with my life, despite my father's frankly frightening fervour (oh my, look at that alliteration!)
And then one day, "I lost my way" as my dad later described it. Not without reason, mind. We were both to blame, but that doesn't stop me hating him, and hating myself, and hating the whole of Paverstown.

Oh look, I've gone and made myself miserable now. Even Charlie has pissed off.
Sorry guys.
- Everett.